Feeling Proud of Myself

As you can see, I haven’t put a post in for a little while.the reason was that I have been away for a few days, just me and the kids. We go to a very familiar place, but we hadn’t been since last October due to the oandrmic and I was very anxious about the trip. To throw myself in at the deepend even more, I booked 2 days out while we were away to attractions i the area, cue anxiety in red alert!

I was a little dubious with COVID still being around and seeing that so many people are acting as things were back to normal, not practicing social distancing and not wearing masks, but my children were going stir crazy and were missing out on months of their childhoids. So i decided to do this one trip, it will probably be the only one this year.

Overall the trip was great! We rode pedalos, dodgems, swings, slides, sledges, played on the beach, we went in a corn maze, met farm animals, played games (Frisbee golf was a new one on me!), arcade games, mini golf etc. Generally, did as many fun things as we could.

I felt the anxiety rising on several occasions. These included any trips taken in a car or taxi and (about 4 ir 5 times) and on a couple of random occasions while we were out and about. But it was my mind set that I have been working on changing that stopped the anxiety spoiling the trip as it has done in the past. Here are the thoughts I used to have and what I replaced them with this time:

“Anxiety is the worst, its going to spoil everything” with “my day will be as good as I make it, its as good as what actually happens its not as bad as my thoughts”

“I am going to feel so ill” with “its only anxiety, it really can’t hurt me”

“This is never going to go away” with “the adrenaline will run out soon, it won’t last forever”

“I will fail my children when I can’t do this for them” with “I always have and will do my best for m my children and my best us good enough”

“I feel like I can’t control the situation and its making me anxious” with “i can’t control everything and I’m absolutely OK with that”

“What if I faint?” with “what if’s are not facts, stay in the moment and only deal with the ‘now'”

While these things don’t stop anxiety arising, they helped me tremendously with managing it when it did arise. I took my attention into my body, settled my attention on my breath, experienced even the negitive feelings of anxiety and didn’t try to fight it or hide from it, i acknowledged it all but didn’t get caught up in it. I just kept telling myself the above when negitove thoughts entered my mind and the difference was amazing. It was as if, because I answered back the negitive feelings and thoughts with more logical ones, it render my anxiety speechless and it subsided much more quickly.

So, I feel immensely proud of myself for giving my choldren the opportunity to have the fun that they deserved. I also feel proud that I stood up to my anxiety and proved that it won’t win if I dont let it. It has given me a new confudence to go out and do things no matter how it feels as I know I can squash it down with more positive thoughts, and if it worked this week, why shouldn’t it work in any other situation? I’ve got this!

I hope that this post helps others to begin making small changes to their own mind set and see the difference it can make.

Thanks for reading.

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